Slutty Rotation vs. The Lovetan Show

As a heterosexual adult male, I like fanservice as much as the next guy. I’ve got half a decade’s worth of idol photobooks, and gravure magazines under the bed, that says I like fanservice. I will gladly include boob-and-panty-flashing anime shows among my personal favorites (like that one about the school mahjong club). My entire figurine collection is of the female gender except for, like, one guy. It is the prerogative of a manly man to say, YES! I LIKE BEING VISUALLY TEASED BY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN. Do I like fanservice? You bet Erena Ono’s sweet 16-year-old ass I like fanservice.

I like poolside-party fanservice, and birthday-cake-bikini fanservice, and getting-changed-in-the-locker-room fanservice, and dancing-on-the-beach fanservice.

And then there is “Heavy Rotation”, to which I say:

How the Lying, Cheating K-pop Industry Ruined the Summer of Idols Encore

“SNSD fans ruined SNSD for me!”
- [stupid ass wota quote]

On July 24, 2010, tickets went on sale for the SMTown Live ’10 World Tour concert in Los Angeles. This is the Asian equivalent of Justin Bieber teaming up with Hannah Montana and the cast of High School Musical, except with more FOBs and less white trash. Anyway, like any good raging fanboy, I had arranged a meticulous scheme with a friend to get ourselves the best seats in the house so that I would be, like, within sniffing distance of Seohyun’s sweat.

And the moment those tickets went on sale, it all fell apart.

OH SHI—

Tips For Being a Good Stupid Ass Wota

THIS.

With the Summer of Idols Encore having reached its climactic peak, the time now comes to look back and reflect on our experiences of chasing Japanese pop tartlets around the world. Since the global J-idol wave is a relatively new phenomenon–did anyone think, before 2009, that you’d ever get to see a Hello! Project act on Western soil?–it’s still kind of a wild frontier fandom out there (IN AMERICA). Comics/TV/movie geeks have been going strong for decades, the anime crowd has had their protocols laid out since the early cons of the 90′s, but where is the code of conduct for stupid ass wotas? I’m not gonna tell you exactly how to behave … that’s up to the forumNazis who tell you “YOU MUST LEARN THE CHANTS BEFORE YOU ATTEND THIS CONCERT.” But I think there are some basic tips and pointers on how to conduct yourself–much of it common sense–that will make your J-idol experience that much more fun. (IN AMERICA). ((Euroland can come too.))

You’re already full of love for idols. Here’s what you can do to make idols love YOU.

EMERGENCY! WARNING!

As stupid ass wotas, we are bound by our common love of the J-pop idol culture. Unfortunately, it only takes one bad apple to piss in our collective cornflakes and ruin the experience. To that end, I offer the following caution to ALL stupid ass wotas IN AMERICA:

If any of you should cross paths with this gentleman:

gtfo.

RUN, DON’T WALK, FAR FAR AWAY IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.
This goes double if you actually are a famous Japanese idol.

The Summer of Idols Encore: The Last Song

I got screwed out of AKB48 autographs … during the session after the concert.

There was a mad dash to get to the autographs room on Thursday night and, let’s just say, I got out of the Nokia Theatre too slowly and took the long way around.

So, realizing my mistake, I reminded myself for Friday: you have to get up pretty early in the morning to beat a bunch of stupid ass wotas.

Left: the last page of Sakura no Shiori. Right: the greatest AKB48 autograph collection of THE FOREVER.