IN JAPANLAND, idols are not known for saying controversial things. Unless they’re retired (Agnes Chan) or are purposely trying to firebomb their careers (Aya Hirano). So when a bratty 15-year-old loli decides to take a stand for the honor of her idol group, everyone else takes it like HEY, I’M CALLIN’ YOU OUT, BITCHES.
According to a stupid ass wota translation of some recent tabloid news briefs, there was an idol event where S/mileage’s very own Kanon Fukuda threw down a challenge at the feet … and shins … and thighs … of Girl’s Generation. Says news24.jp, “Miniskirt-clad Kanon Fukuda of S/mileage sees the lovely-legged Korean girl group ‘Shoujo Jidai’ [THAT'S SNSD IN MOONSPEAK LOLOLOLOL] as her rivals. ‘I think our legs are MOAR fresher,’ she laughed.” The pull quote from Nikkan Sports puts things a little more in context: “‘In addition to everyone here, I consider our senpais Morning Musume, AKB48, SNSD, everybody to be our rivals. But our fresh and lovely legs won’t ever be defeated! WAHAHAHA!!’” as lightning and thunder shook the stage and blood began to drip from the floodlights. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating that last bit a little.
I think the surprising thing is that she actually called out some of the groups by name. I mean normally if you try to get an idol to talk about anyone else in the industry they just clam up and blurt out some diplomatic answer about how everyone’s doing their best. But Kanon is not taking your shit anymore, idol music business. She KNOWS S/mileage has the best damn loli legs in the 21st century and they will NOT take it lying down from a bunch of Hangul-speaking pop tarts who sing about ZUCCHINI.
Has Fukuda fired the shot heard ’round the world? Have the East Asian idol wars reached critical mass? WILL CONSEQUENCES NEVER BE THE SAME?