Juice=Juice is Hello! Project’s last hope

Hmm … where have I heard this one before?

The saviors of humankind???

Newly-minted girl group Juice=Juice has made a dashing first impression, becoming the darlings of J-idol fandom almost as quickly as Stephen Curry has become the darling of NBA basketball. With his pure shooting stroke and legit playmaking skills, Curry has captured the imagination of the hoops nation, not to mention his eyes are prettier than Yuka Miyazaki’s. But I digress. Juice=Juice has all of two singles to their name, both under an indie label (which means no B-side tracks), yet the sheer impact of these songs and the videos accompanying them are inspiring all sorts of buzz among fans. “Better than S/mileage,” some are saying. “The greatest talent Tsunku has ever assembled.” “Hello! Project is finally doing something right.”

After two songs? As in, they don’t even have enough repertoire to fill in between two MC segments at a concert?

While people often say “Don’t be so quick to judge!” in response to something negative, I think the same words of warning apply to positive reactions too.

Berryz Quest II: Otakebi Jersey Boys WAO!

Man, they weren’t kidding when they said Somerset, New Jersey was in the butt-crack middle-of-nowhere. When my taxi pulled into my hotel on Thursday night—Day 0 of AnimeNext—I wondered if I had been sent to the outpost of a distant civilization. But when I strolled over to the Garden State Exhibition Center the following morning, it became clear that the only distant civilization I would be encountering was one that I was all too familiar with.

After waiting a couple of hours to pick up my con badge, my usual fears were confirmed when I saw the Hello! Pro army milling about, wearing shirts and happi coats that looked only slightly more ridiculous than being dressed as a Homestuck or Brony or Meduka. This time I decided to play their little game and put my name down on an “unofficial” numbered list of fans who wanted to get into the dealer room for the specific purpose of buying Berryz goods that would entitle them to an autograph ticket/bracelet. I’m not sure this list accomplished anything other than you know who you’re behind, and you know who’s after you, and can wander off to the bathroom (or wherever) and come back without losing your place. Also you can stroke your wota peen about how early you got up to claim a place in line.

Honestly, my schedule was based entirely on how early the Subway near my hotel opened, because that was where I would get breakfast first. Everyone else can have their ridiculous 5-in-the-morning madness. Madness? THIS. IS. BERRYZ. KOBO!!!!!!!11

The Berryz Connection

It started, like so many things, with a single incident.

Sometime around spring of last year (2011), back when they were shooting the “Real Idol Zukan” photobook, they had a Ustream broadcast set up to show all the behind-the-scenes work. And this idol group came on—I don’t even remember their name now—and for the hell of it, just started dancing °C-ute’s “Massara Blue Jeans.” Because, you know, when you’ve got time to kill at a photoshoot, what do you do? You dance to old idol songs from 5 years ago. Not that I’m knocking it; I think indies-period °C-ute had some of the best songs EVRAR. But that spontaneous outbreak of dance sure came out of nowhere.

As the months went by, more incidents followed, and I started to connect the dots in my mind. You had a member of Vanilla Beans on the Kawaii Girl Japan webshow saying that she’d been inspired by Buono! to become an idol. Nico/Youtube dance sensation Kozue Aikawa, the face of DANCEROID, got her start dancing to mid/late-’00 Hello! Project songs long before the Vocaloid fandom claimed her. Rino Sashihara of AKB48 freaked out because she got to sit next to Momoko Tsugunaga. (Then again this is Sasshi we’re talking about, who freaks out over ALL the idols, but still.) Shiori Mori from Passpo gets all excited because she went to a Buono! concert. As recently as a couple of weeks ago, some random member of AeLL, who I don’t even know, mentioned on a radio show that she was a fan of Maasa Sudo.

And then there’s this.

When Kyary met Risako

Outtakes From Seattle: The Lost Berryz Tapes

In my digital life, there are 3 files I keep triple backed-up at all times: (1) video footage of my AKB48 interview in New York, (2) video footage of my AKB48 interview in Los Angeles, (3) the audio recording of my Berryz Kobo interview in Seattle. A couple of the AKB video clips can found on my n00bTube channel. But here, for the first time ever, is what number (3) sounds like.

The City of Dreams.

Momo Is Still missing_maiha

It’s been just two months since I penned the legendary Berryz Kobo interview, the ultimate idol love letter and pinnacle of my life’s work as a stupid ass wota. And while I rarely second-guess myself as a writer—therein lies the path of self-doubt and madness—there is at least one thing I would have done differently.

Why did I make the Maiha paragraph so depressing?! D:<

You have to understand why I did this. I owed it to myself, as well as all the olsk00l fans (i.e. whoever was an actual fan of BK when she graduated, and therefore can legitimately miss her), to find out What The Hell Ever Happened To Maiha Ishimura. It was one of the great unanswered questions of the fandom, because the Japanese entertainment magazines are too shallow to ask it, and the other interviewers in Seattle probably didn't know about it. So I had to ask.

The answer isn't what anyone would have wanted to hear, of course. Losing ties with old friends/co-workers just happens sometimes, and it's not something you can easily paint in a positive light. But what I did wrong with the interview piece, in my rashness, was to cut out What Momoko Said Afterward.

Silently Judging Other Wota

Some lingering thoughts on Seattle …

People people people WHOA WHOA WHOA.

Idol-chasing at conventions invariably means interacting with other fans. Some of them are nice. Some of them are … less nice. I have already openly expressed my disapprove_face.jpg about the ones who felt entitled to BOTH Berryz autograph sessions, even enlisting a relative/friend//homeless-guy-hanging-out-by-convention-center to stand in line for a 2nd Priority Ticket at the H!Store just so they could circumvent the “ONE PER PERSON” rule.

It’s like, yeeeeees I understand you love Berryz Koubou SOOOOO MUCH that you want to see the girls as much as possible, but when you double-book, you’re occupying a space in line that could have gone to a curious new fan. Aren’t you supposed to be recruiting new converts? Like someone who MAYBE just wandered into the concert last night and now wants to get to know them better? But now they won’t, because Mister or Miss Greedy is standing in line ahead of them.

BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT.

What I meant to talk about was interacting with fans while waiting in line for things. LOL! Anyway, it struck me just how many layers of Berryz fandom there are. It’s like an onion … everyone smells kinda funny and after a while you just start crying. Okay, wrong metaphor. In any case, here is your Anthropological Field Guide to Berryz Koubou Fans IN AMERICA: