AKB48 and the Evolution of Post-Gravure

Y HALO THAR HARUNYAN.

Where were you when you first saw an AKB member in a bikini?

Were you browsing through the men’s manga magazines, only to find Mai Oshima or Nozomi Kawasaki staring back at you?
Were you trawling for the latest entertainment news and gossip, when suddenly you found yourself face-to-face with a very underdressed Atsuko Maeda?
Or were you, (like me), visiting your usual uploader sites when LO AND BEHOLD IT’S HARUNA KOJIMA IN A BIKINI DEAR LORD MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED?

Ever since the beginning of mass media and pop culture, there has been an inextricable link between female celebrities and swimsuits. If there is a beautiful woman, there will be horny fans who wish to feast on her with their eyes, and the best way to present that feast without turning to straight-out pr0n is by means of the swimsuit. And so it goes with AKB48, whose booming popularity over the past year has made them a common fixture in cheesecake magazines all across Japan.

But so many of us are busy drooling over their gorgeously photoshopped abs and deliciously creamy thighs that we have overlooked a minor fashion revolution taking place. At some point, AKB48′s swimsuits stopped being swimsuits. They weren’t exactly what you would call lingerie, either, since lingerie was something that slutty gravure idols like Aki Hoshino and Mikie Hara did, but surely not our innocent singing and dancing schoolgirls! Instead, AKB48 has entered an entirely new realm of celebrating the sensuality of the female form. Too impractical to be swimwear or underwear, but still intensely revealing and alluring to the eye, AKB48′s wardrobe choices have entered the realm of … post-gravure.

The Top 10 J-Idol Photobooks of 2009

2009 was the year that was … in photobooks. It was a year that saw the Face of AKB get her first, while the Miracle of Momusu got her last, with a whole lot of bikini surprises in between. These are the ten that made their mark.

1. Koharu Kusumi – Sugar Doll

I will say this: If Koharu hadn’t graduated this year, this probably would have ranked second. But placed in the context of current events, this photobook (and accompanying DVD) elevates itself to the level of an era-defining masterpiece—not merely Koharu’s best, but one of Hello! Project’s best. It is an unforgettable farewell performance, a glossy hardcover memento of everything Koharu is and was to Morning Musume. We watched her grow from a gawky prepubescent girl to a stunning young woman, and she left us with a parting gift that fans will treasure (and fap to) forever.

25 Days of Delicious Cake: Day 6

Everybody knows what today is, right?

In honor of Koharu Kusumi‘s graduation from Morning Musume, Delicious Cake Project! proudly presents…

~☆♥☆☆♥!!MIRACLE
BIKINI
EXTRAVAGANZA!!♥☆☆♥☆~

Red

AKB48 vs. Beethoven: Buh Buh Buh Bummmm

Seriously, though: fix your hair.

“RIVER” is to AKB48 what the 3rd Symphony, “Eroica,” was to Beethoven.

And the way I figure is this: “Eroica” was pretty much the first step in Beethoven revolutionizing the form of the symphony FOREVAR. Before that, his other symphonies had been cute little copies of Haydn, albeit already with the fancy-ass introductions and whackjob key changes that would become his trademark. But whereas, in the olden days, a symphony was supposed to be this 20-minute piece of fluff that you could knit to, Beethoven said to himself, fuck that shit, how about 20 minutes for the entire FIRST MOVEMENT. And how about the entire symphony be, like, 45 minutes long. I bet I can make those Viennese n00bs sit down and listen for 45 minutes if I felt like it!

So he did.

Fortunately, one does not need to sit down for 45 minutes to enjoy “RIVER” (although it would be awesome if you could), but you do have to sit down for 5 minutes and withstand a barrage of unexpected musical styles, including an entire first minute that is essentially notated as “N.C.” (no chord). The whole thing is as transformative as the idea of a 45-minute symphony; it’s a song that overturns the idea of AKB48—if not all of idoldom—being these randomly hyper dance-pop songs that you can knit to. (Besides knitting, they are also great for multiplayer shooter games. You try popping a cap upside the head of some bad dude in Uncharted 2 with “Aitakatta” blaring in the background. THUG LIFE.)

A Comparative Study of Bikini Photography in Momoko Tsugunaga’s Photobooks

In a world where protecting the innocence of “the children” is more important than giving them a decent education or teaching them good health and eating habits, it is practically a rite of passage that when a school-age idol gets herself a photobook, half the fan community must throw themselves into an uproar about the inappropriateness of such a young girl posing for such licentious photos. (Meanwhile, the other half of the fan community is quietly going “YESSSSSS!! DO WANT!”) Part of this uproar, of course, involves counting how many times said idol is photographed wearing the common two-piece swimsuit, or “bikini,” which—if we are to believe these moralizing busybodies—is the universal symbol of societal and cultural decay.

It is spelled with 4 i's for a reason.

Those who have had the sweet, delectable pleasure of looking through Heir Long Peach Child Momoko Tsugunaga’s fourth photobook, Momochiiii, may have thought to themselves at some point, “Is it just me or are there a lot more bikini pics in this compared to her last one?” And it is not an isolated phenomenon, either—practically anytime you read an idol’s photobook, you’re probably keeping a mental tally of how many times she appears on the beach, or playing at the pool, or exploring the river bank, or lazing around the house and for some wacky reason all her clothes fell off. What we seek to prove today, is to determine whether or not Momo is actually showing off her peaches more often than usual.