Berryz Quest II: Otakebi Jersey Boys WAO!

Man, they weren’t kidding when they said Somerset, New Jersey was in the butt-crack middle-of-nowhere. When my taxi pulled into my hotel on Thursday night—Day 0 of AnimeNext—I wondered if I had been sent to the outpost of a distant civilization. But when I strolled over to the Garden State Exhibition Center the following morning, it became clear that the only distant civilization I would be encountering was one that I was all too familiar with.

After waiting a couple of hours to pick up my con badge, my usual fears were confirmed when I saw the Hello! Pro army milling about, wearing shirts and happi coats that looked only slightly more ridiculous than being dressed as a Homestuck or Brony or Meduka. This time I decided to play their little game and put my name down on an “unofficial” numbered list of fans who wanted to get into the dealer room for the specific purpose of buying Berryz goods that would entitle them to an autograph ticket/bracelet. I’m not sure this list accomplished anything other than you know who you’re behind, and you know who’s after you, and can wander off to the bathroom (or wherever) and come back without losing your place. Also you can stroke your wota peen about how early you got up to claim a place in line.

Honestly, my schedule was based entirely on how early the Subway near my hotel opened, because that was where I would get breakfast first. Everyone else can have their ridiculous 5-in-the-morning madness. Madness? THIS. IS. BERRYZ. KOBO!!!!!!!11

Passpo just accomplished something AKB48 never have and never will.

A mix-and-match crew of flight attendants launched a devastating airstrike in Japan’s Idol Wars when their major-label debut landed at No. 1 on the Weekly Oricon.

This = JUST WON THE GAME.

Ten-member group Passpo (PASSPO☆, ぱすぽ☆) shocked the music world, their fans, and even themselves when their new single, “Shoujo Hikou,” came screaming out of the gate with 42,706 units sold, good for first place on the J-pop charts. The impact could be felt as far away as Libya, where a very rattled Moammar Qaddafi admitted that the power of KAWAII and ROCK’N'ROLL scared him more shitless than NATO ever did.

In more factual news, this is the first No. 1 opening for a female ensemble’s debut single since Kiroro’s “Nagai Aida” in 1998. This also means that a certain miniskirted army in Akihabara should be quaking in their knee-high stockings right about now, because even THEY never did it when they started out.

TABLE: Major-label debuts for some basic bitches you’ve never heard of.

Artist	Debut Single	Year	Peak Oricon Rank (Weekly)	Notes
Seiko Matsuda	Hadashi no Kisetsu	1980	12th
Onyanko Club	Sailor Fuku wo Nugasanaide	1985	5th
SPEED	Body & Soul	1996	4th
Morning Musume.	Morning Coffee	1998	6th	Preceded by indies single “Ai no Tane”
AKB48	Aitakatta	2006	12th	Preceded by indies singles “Sakura no Hanabiratachi” “Skirt, Hirari”
Shoujo Jidai [SNSD]	Genie [JP ver.]	2010	4th	Preceded by Korean career
PASSPO☆	Shoujo Hikou	2011	1st	Preceded by indies singles “Let It Go!!” “Hallelujah” “GPP” “Go On A Highway” “Pretty Lie” “DEPARTURE” + indies album “TAKE☆OFF”

Delicious Cake Project! Wishes You A Merry Gravure Christmas

The presents have been opened, the dinners have been consumed, and the awkward family moments have been experienced. But on this pathetic excuse for a blog, it’s never a full proper Christmas without cute Japanese idols in slutty Santa outfits! So here in all its twenty-page glory is Young Gangan‘s “Christmas Gift” photobooklet with some of the finest faces (and bodies) to grace the covers of men’s interest magazines in Japan throughout the past year.

Actually, you’re all a bunch of pathetic losers

The Dumbest, Most Annoying Rivalries:

Yankees vs. Red Sox
Apple vs. Microsoft (LINUX WINS BY DEFAULT)
Some Korean pop group vs. some other Korean pop group
Hello! Project vs. AKB48

But I’m not here today to talk about any of those. No, today we will talk about the “rivalry,” or perhaps the “conflict,” or “disagreement,” that annoys the hell out of me more than anything else; and that is:

Anime otaku vs. idol wota

I swear, this is the dumbest thing on God’s green earth, and it shouldn’t even be an issue, but apparently a bunch of raging territorial fanbois with sticks up their butts have to go and ruin it for everyone. They seem to think that there is some dichotomy, that it is a battle of US against THEM, that they are holy crusaders trying to protect the sacred land of their precious little fandom from being invaded by barbarians. And it goes something like this:

A Comparative Study of Bikini Photography in Momoko Tsugunaga’s Photobooks

In a world where protecting the innocence of “the children” is more important than giving them a decent education or teaching them good health and eating habits, it is practically a rite of passage that when a school-age idol gets herself a photobook, half the fan community must throw themselves into an uproar about the inappropriateness of such a young girl posing for such licentious photos. (Meanwhile, the other half of the fan community is quietly going “YESSSSSS!! DO WANT!”) Part of this uproar, of course, involves counting how many times said idol is photographed wearing the common two-piece swimsuit, or “bikini,” which—if we are to believe these moralizing busybodies—is the universal symbol of societal and cultural decay.

It is spelled with 4 i's for a reason.

Those who have had the sweet, delectable pleasure of looking through Heir Long Peach Child Momoko Tsugunaga’s fourth photobook, Momochiiii, may have thought to themselves at some point, “Is it just me or are there a lot more bikini pics in this compared to her last one?” And it is not an isolated phenomenon, either—practically anytime you read an idol’s photobook, you’re probably keeping a mental tally of how many times she appears on the beach, or playing at the pool, or exploring the river bank, or lazing around the house and for some wacky reason all her clothes fell off. What we seek to prove today, is to determine whether or not Momo is actually showing off her peaches more often than usual.