The Next Stage: Today Akihabara, Tomorrow the World?

Take it easy, AkiP!

Shit just got real-er, folks. According to news sources, Yasushi Akimoto is getting into some SERIOUS BUSINESS about franchising the AKB48 concept on an international level. Reports say that the Big Wota and his people have been in talks with six countries, name-dropping China, Thailand, Singapore and Italy, which leaves us two others to guess. (Don’t quote me on my amazing psychic powers or anything, but I’m gonna say USA and Le France. Maybe substitute South Korea for one of those.)

I think it goes without saying that a ____48 clone in each of these countries would be hilarious and freakin’ weird. Consider the cultural influences that would inevitably give each group its own unique homeland flavor:

Angels and Devil Girls: Cracking the INBOU48 Code

What does the reshuffling of AKB48′s Teams portend for the rest of humankind? Will the seas run red with blood, will the great Leviathan rise from the depths, will the awful horror reign for 1290 days? (For comparison purposes, remember that George W. Bush was President of the United States for 2922 days.) Has the downfall of Japanese civilization, marked by declining population growth and two decades of economic malaise, entered its final stages?

Wow, it's like Excel is finally useful for something.

If there is one thing I have learned from working at a major Japanese corporation (albeit its US division), it is that they love to make managerial moves for the sake of making managerial moves. Not that this accomplishes anything, but it sure looks like you’re “doing something” when people get shuffled around. Of course, plenty of other corporations around the world also do this, but it is Japan that has raised these corporate shenanigans to the level of art, where you can be Product Manager one month and then suddenly be moved to Engineering Manager (even if the last time you “engineered” something was for a senior year college project) and if they really don’t like you, you get exiled to Sales.

What I see right now is a lot of idols being exiled to Sales.

Who put them there? Yasushi Akimoto, you think? Of course not! When a paradigm shift of this magnitude occurs, it can only be the invisible blue hand of INBOU.

INBOU