The future has arrived.

Cagayake Girls!

I was pretty sure S/mileage was going to hit the 10,000 mark for their Major Debut Smile Campaign.

I was not expecting them to obliterate it.

STOP! This graph is really freaking important!

Relative Attractiveness of Selected AKB48 Members

The findings presented in this graph may be one of the biggest leaps in idolographic metrology since the Ancient Greeks determined that Helen of Troy had the beauty to launch a thousand ships. Previous attempts to measure attractiveness, such as faps per second, often led to questionable results, mostly because the observer would run out of resources before being able to take an accurate reading. By comparison, measuring in buckets of drool only requires the observer to sit there and take a much more passive role; this then significantly reduces the potential for error in the measurement.

The use of a well-known commonly accepted standard (namely, the girls of AKB48), allowed for a reasonably-sized data population to be taken. The variety of results proves the effectiveness of this measurement method, taking into account unusual circumstances such as Tomomi Itano’s snaggletooth (note the large discrepancy in measurements between “mouth closed” and “mouth open”) and Erena Ono’s age. Although the “loli effect” is a phenomenon that is yet to be explained fully, there is at least one major contributing factor that seems to inflate the attractiveness value for particularly young girls:

Okay, make that two major contributing factors.

(See also: Saaya Irie.)

Also of particular note is the discovery of negative drool values for persons such as Megumi Ohori, who quite frankly should never be seen without a paper bag over her head. The fact that such a value was recorded is not necessarily a judgment on Ohori herself but rather an illustration of the robustness of this measurement method.