The Legend of Legendary Idols: AKB48 in L.A. as presented by Entame magazine!

Would YOU willingly walk up to a cash register to pay for this kind of garbage at a Japanese bookstore? Didn't think so.

WELL, the other day I picked up the September 2010 issue of Entame specifically for the purpose of enjoying Tomomi Itano’s gravure shoot. Now I realize that not a lot of people are into this magazine, mostly because it’s one of those skeevy tabloid-type publications hiding behind more eye-pleasing options such as Weekly Playboy, Friday, and UTB, and well away from the manga and anime mags where the rest of you weeaboos hang out. But MAN, you shoulda seen some of those Tomochin bikini shots! U MAY download them here.

ANYWAY, the point of what I’m trying to say is, I picked up Entame (which is short for “Entertainment”) and discovered that right behind the epic 10 pages of Tomomi hotness was a full-length report on AKB48′s whole excursion to Los Angeles and Anime Expo!

THIS was a very very pleasant (and hilarious) [namida?] surprise.

I scanned each of the pages and used my ub4r l33t Moonspeak skills to vaguely guess what the article was saying. Please follow along with my running commentary!

Slutty Rotation vs. The Lovetan Show

As a heterosexual adult male, I like fanservice as much as the next guy. I’ve got half a decade’s worth of idol photobooks, and gravure magazines under the bed, that says I like fanservice. I will gladly include boob-and-panty-flashing anime shows among my personal favorites (like that one about the school mahjong club). My entire figurine collection is of the female gender except for, like, one guy. It is the prerogative of a manly man to say, YES! I LIKE BEING VISUALLY TEASED BY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN. Do I like fanservice? You bet Erena Ono’s sweet 16-year-old ass I like fanservice.

I like poolside-party fanservice, and birthday-cake-bikini fanservice, and getting-changed-in-the-locker-room fanservice, and dancing-on-the-beach fanservice.

And then there is “Heavy Rotation”, to which I say:

Actually, you’re all a bunch of pathetic losers

The Dumbest, Most Annoying Rivalries:

Yankees vs. Red Sox
Apple vs. Microsoft (LINUX WINS BY DEFAULT)
Some Korean pop group vs. some other Korean pop group
Hello! Project vs. AKB48

But I’m not here today to talk about any of those. No, today we will talk about the “rivalry,” or perhaps the “conflict,” or “disagreement,” that annoys the hell out of me more than anything else; and that is:

Anime otaku vs. idol wota

I swear, this is the dumbest thing on God’s green earth, and it shouldn’t even be an issue, but apparently a bunch of raging territorial fanbois with sticks up their butts have to go and ruin it for everyone. They seem to think that there is some dichotomy, that it is a battle of US against THEM, that they are holy crusaders trying to protect the sacred land of their precious little fandom from being invaded by barbarians. And it goes something like this: